BLOGGER CONFESSIONS

 If I love reading something, I want to get involved and write about it too. So, as a seriously snoopy person, I thought I’d share my own blogger confessions for anyone who fancies knowing the sneaky bits. I’ve been giving myself a bit of time out from really getting stuck into blogging over recent months, so I did think this’d be another nice one to get back to writing. I don’t mind a quick outfit post, but I don’t just wanna spend my blogging life talking about what trousers I’m wearing. Right, forgive me for my blogging sins – it’s time to ‘fess up.

Sometimes, I fucking hate blogging.

I don’t live, sleep and breathe blogging. Part of me wishes I did, but I don’t. For me, it’s a nice part of my life that I really value, and while it’s rare that I completely fucking hate it, sometimes I do, for a multitude of reasons. I think what it comes down to is that there are just so many aspects of blogging that aren’t ‘me’. It’s not always something that I can relate to, and with so much change to blogging in recent years it’s something I quickly find myself alienated from. That doesn’t bother me hugely; it just takes me a little longer to find my way back to the bits of it that I love. It’s a ‘highs and lows’ thing – sometimes I find blogging a massively positive part of my life, and at other times it just does nothing for me. That’s when I have to take a little breather.

The novelty of free stuff has worn off.

This is where I could start to sound especially ungrateful. Even when I think about it, it sounds bad. It’s kind of sad that eventually, you do become very blasé about stuff turning up in the post. I still get excited for parcels, but is it the same as those first bits of blogger mail?! No. I guess it’s just that something abnormal morphs into something normal – receiving freebies becomes a part of life. These days I try to be really selective with what items I receive – it means that I only get the odd thing, but for me that’s more than enough and means I really appreciate what I do get.

I don't feel bad about doing sponsored work. 

You mean I’m gonna turn down a week’s wage to put up one Instagram post that might not exactly fit my theme perfectly? I’m sorry, but no. I’m not saying I’ve got no integrity to my content – there’s a whole load I’ll turn down because of those ‘whyyyy would you think I’m a good fit for this?!’ moments. However, I’m also not in a position to constantly turn down money. If you can be especially selective then that’s great, but we aren’t all top of our game bloggers that can say no to that amount of money because the content isn’t quite what you would have suggested yourself. If it’s something that I can work into how I blog then yeah I’m gonna do it – I can’t pay bills in lipstick alone.

I edit my pictures to death.

Unless you believe that my face is completely poreless, then I reckon you’ll have already worked out that my pictures go through the rounds with Facebook before they hit the ‘gram. I don’t mind folk knowing that I smooth out the odd icky bit and remove any planet-sized spots. Most of my epic editing actually comes in for backgrounds though. My surroundings aren’t actually that monochrome… I just de-saturate the life out of everything. I try not to go OTT on myself, but with backgrounds I’m obsessive. Fuck you Instagram themes – you are to blame for this!

I’m actually shit at being sociable.

I’m awful, and probably will be forever awful at responding to people and building conversations. It’s a bit ridiculous when I work in social media, but on a personal front I just find it really difficult, mostly for inexplicable reasons. I’m naturally introverted, and some part of me just fails to be sociable… I struggle with it in real life, never mind online! I’m forever feeling bad if I don’t get back to people and constantly feel like I should post weekly updates saying ‘I’m terrible at responding. It’s nothing personal. I’m just a bad person’. Ha. It’s one of those things where I don’t practice what I preach – I know I’d get so much more out of interacting, but I just struggle with it.

I don’t really want to be a full time blogger.

I still have days when I wish I did do it full time. Right now I feel like it’s tough to keep up with those that do have 9-5 hours to dedicate to it, when I’m still working full time and squishing in blogging on lunch breaks, 5am slots and late evenings. Trying to produce the same standard of work (and also fit in having a life) is a struggle. I can’t moan about it too much as it’s been my choice to carry on working and continue with a reluctant attitude towards full time blogging.

One of the main reasons is that I enjoy where I’m at career wise. I’ve worked my ass off for that too and it’s not something I want to just halt for the full time life. While I’ve mentioned that blogging helps with paying the bills, I also love that it remains my hobby, something that I can go without. The reason I continue to fit it in around my job is because I want to, not because I need to. I just think for me this takes a lot of the blogging pressure off. It’s nice if everything is going well, but it’s not hugely impacting.

For now, it’s just not right for me. Maybe in the future I’ll think differently, but ideally I’d just like to drop a few hours at work to fit more of the blogging stuff in. Full time blogging doesn’t have to be the goal.

Confessions done… Think I’ve ticked off the biggies anyway! I always feel better when I get a bit off my chest when it comes to the blogging feels. It’s always nice if you can find someone that relates.

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